In my first blog I explained what my project is, what I intend to do with it through college, and how it can help me find a career after I graduate. I figured I might as well discuss the “why” behind everything as well. So here’s my journey so far to why I wanted to start this all.
I grew up in a healthy family dynamic. Two parent household, middle-class, two pets, and two younger sisters. I can say I never had any hardship in life different than the average American. I wasn’t introduced into the world of psychology until around the age of 14. At this time, my one sister was 7 and began to show very serious symptoms of OCD. She began to become enraged if there was too many tasks to be done in a certain time frame. It was to the point where my parents would just walk away in frustration of not knowing what to do. I took the time with her though. I learned if I could just help her realize that she just needs to begin to take things one piece at time I could help her control fits. Well it worked, and the one thing I remember most from that day was my father’s thank you after my sister was calm. “I think maybe this is what you’re meant to do”. I had spent so much time with my sister, calming her down and talking to her while being respectful of her wishes and anxiety. I did not realize it at the time, but this was my first experience helping someone else find peace of mind.
Fast forward a couple years, I’m now a junior in high school, and I’ve begun my first serious relationship. The first time I ever said “I love you”, and the first time I meant it. I spent years with this person in a complex on-and-off relationship. As much as I cared for her, she was constantly fighting a battle with depression and bipolar disorder. I did everything a loving boyfriend could do at the time but I wasn’t prepared in seeing the real effects with people who suffered from these disorders. It was the first time I saw depression up close and personal. I saw her scars, I heard her rants, i watched her self-destruct, and I felt like nothing I could do for her would make it better. It caused me to slip into a slight depression myself. We ended things and were on and off for two years. At one point, during my finals of my sophomore year of college, she called me from a psychiatric ward explaining that she was admitted there for trying to kill herself. The next time I saw her was two weeks later. She had a new scar, not the horizontals one she had before in several areas of her body, but a vertical 6 inch scar running down her forearm. I still see it’s image from when I helped clean her bandage after she came back home. I can’t explain the pain of knowing the first girl you ever loved was nearly killed by her own hand. It haunts you.
After this I declared my major in psychology. I realized I want to learn more about this world of disorders and I want to help the people in my life the best I can. Psychology is normally seen as the “easy major” but that’s not how I viewed it ever. I saw it as a way to understand the human mind better and help me understand how people truly are. During my junior year of college I began to find myself having anxiety issues when it came to school and with my social relationships. I let it control me and I slipped into blind rages, taking it out on the ones around me. My mother told me at the time that I possibly have General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) as she has it herself and it may have passed on. After seeing a doctor, I was prescribed medication towards anxiety.
Along with this I started dating my current girlfriend who helped me believe in love again. However, life still can never be fair. She was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in January. After all of this I began to focus my study of psychology into the world of possibilities that medicinal cannabis possesses. The more I realized that all these areas can be treated or eased with this medicine, the more I wanted to research it and help people see the potential of medicinal marijuana.
“In seeking happiness for others, you find it for yourself”. A quote that I’ve been following in life lately as my own way of seeking my own personal happiness. I’ve seen so much pain with people in my life, myself included, that I just want to it to stop and I believe I can help the world get there by exploring an area of medicine that society is only recently beginning to open up to. Using my skills in writing, psychology, public relations, and social media, I plan on researching consistently to learn everything that I can on the seemingly endless benefits of medical marijuana and its CBD chemical properties and doing the best I can to spread awareness for the medical marijuana movement. Thank you for reading I hope you can now see why this is more to me than just weed; it’s a way for me to help the ones around me!